the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
