..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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