When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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