Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
