I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
