My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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