the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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