Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
