you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
