The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
