I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
