The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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