You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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