unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she told me i tasted like america
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
