that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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