so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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