she looked like the before picture.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
