I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
