everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
