We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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