My brain says no but my pants say off.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
