I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
