I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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