So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
