I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
