i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
