I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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