I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
