What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
