I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
