Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
