Can Purell be used as lube?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
