She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
