even my farts smell like vagina
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You took a bar mat shot.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
