Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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