Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
