just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
