Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
