I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
