A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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