so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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