remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
