direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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