I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have tasted many bathrooms
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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