so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
