you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When are your genitals available?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
