it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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