Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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