Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have already put on my inside pants.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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