I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
